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Before one of them sloughs off the sheets to pad around the kitchen naked. No, not naked, naked from the waist down. To emphasise their nakedity. Picking up yesterday's croissant crumbs with their sweaty feet. That's how they start the day. It's only going to escalate from there. By lunchtime you're fucking everybody you know. I was in Paris recently—they are very good at pleasure. I was walking by a bakery—a boulangerie, which is fun to go into and to say, even—and I went in, a childish desire to get a cake—"Give me one of those chocolate guys," I said—and I was talking to someone on the street, took a bite I had to tell them to go away! I wanted to book a room with it!

Because they know they're Black cock for my wife die. Nobody goes to church. You think, we're gonna die, make a fucking nice cake. On the French attitude to Sluts in wind hill. Wh—what do they say? Oh yes, one of Yul Brunner's hairdressers. Likes his toast done on three sides, yes. People who get implants, it's so depressing, you know… People— I don't know. The route of that, you know, maybe they want more love or attention, or what it is, but they always go for the most obvious place, you know? Well if you really want more attention, why not get them in your eyes?

There's a guy, John Humphries, who does a lot of the interviews, and he sounds like he's been up since about midnight jogging on the spot to accuse people you've never heard of of lying. It's very aggressive right from the off. You turn it on and he goes: Get up so I can kick you again, you lying fuck! I would, for instance, fellate a Smurf before I picked death. I'd cook him a little Smurf omelette as I was doing it, you know, I'd be perfectly happy doing that. Seasoning it with thyme, you know, listening to his happy satisfied Smurf lip smacks. But every man thinks about Smurfs. They don't say it, but they do. That's why I'm here—to be honest.

Just once, you know, what would it be like? Nobody needs to know, you go away for the weekend. Just once, to have the blue salty bulb lolling on your tongue The best I can hope for would be to drown somebody else with my own blood And they say that after people make love there's a kind of melancholia that descends; la petite mort, you know, the little death. Well, I'm here to tell you, after a romantic night in with yourself, there's a very acute sensation of failed suicide. And I think a lot of that, if you're men is because of the quality of the gear you've got to work with.

I mean it's horrible looking. Like a deep sea fish that ate its own arse after about an hour. What's going on down there?! Do something nice, like a kittens head You're looking for a lump in a bag of lumps, that can take some time On testicular cancer. Bagpipes covered in hair On testicles. This stage, if it hasn't already, probably will see a production of the Vagina Monologues.

Which I cannot wait to see, because it sounds so fabulously fucking stupid. Everybody iwnd that if female genitalia could speak, it would sound exactly like Enya. Why would you Camping hook up in france You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. NEVER try the local thing. You know Slutx it's local? Because it's shit, that's why it's local. You eat it, you'll become one of them, you'll turn red and start spouting bigotry and eating tweed with lamb fat dribbling down your chin, don't go near any of that stuff.

Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know; mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city; Well you know what, so sind everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation. They have sheets of ham so large that if hilll bite Slkts the yill, you've saved yourself the price of a poncho. Wins is like the dind bad flatmate of the world: I d'n't know it was yours. Yeah, I'll replace it sometime You had an empire once, Britain. Had a great empire! Impressively commandeered and sequestered from the rest of the world, with great style. You just marched in and said 'You, you and you—fuck off, we're having tiffin.

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, Sluts in wind hill a box with wheels. On driving I got bored of the tedious bill, talking to the dealer in a stairwell where you're not supposed on be, then going back to a depressing room and spending nine hours locked up going dind, then going back to get more with what little money you have left. I usually never leave the house, but we went to Australia recently—the whole family was there—it was a ridiculous place. Located three quarters of a mile from the surface of the sun, people audibly Slits as they walk past you on the street.

That's why they all barbecue, you don't need to cook somewhere like that, you just bring the shit out, fling it on a grill and it bursts into flames. It's not supposed to be inhabited, and when they're not doing that, frying themselves outside, Divorce escortes women out calls in moberly all fling themselves into the sea, which is inhabited almost exclusively by things designed to kill you; sharks, jellyfish, swimming knives, they're all in there. You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person sind they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better.

But ve are very vibrant in wihd theater and arts Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler German food is so bad, even Hitler was a vegetarian. It sounds like typewriters eating tin foil being kicked down the stairs. On the German language. Because that's still how Irish people are seen, as twinkly-eyed fuckers with a pig under their arm, high-stepping it around the world, going 'I'll paint your house now, but watch out, I might steal the ladder later, ohohoho! On prejudices about Irish people. Somewhere like Ireland, it's more hot-blooded, there's drama included in the fabric of every day, it's there every moment.

For no real reason. If somebody blocks you when you're walking, you're positively Edwardian in your manners. You do this sheepish little smile together, and you step aside. And you both do it at the same time, and you go "for goodness sake, what a to-do! I'll just eh, I'll just—oh, we did it again, can you believe it, I can't believe it! We should be on the stage! One more time, I'll just—oh, how did we ever get this far as a species! On behaviour displayed on foot and in cars. How about an extra bread roll, there to dip in your otter vomit pate? I don't know, what would you like? The plane is made of metal, the wings are made of metal, we're all eating, and I'm the only non-terrorist aboard, we're all going to die.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is the governor of California. There's a perfectly ordinary English sentence. How did that happen!? Do you know how that happened? Do you know how he got into that position? Now, you and me, we avoid lifting things; It's unpleasant. Even a five-year-old child knows this. He'll go "No, ha ha, fuck it, no, I'll go and stick Lego up my arse, I'm not doing that, no no. He lifted the heavy- and you know, you lift something if you have to. Piano falls on granny, you lift the piano… 'cause Granny has mixed feelings about the whole situation. He didn't do any of that. He went over to the heavy thing, and lifted it, and put it back down and didn't move it anywhere But it was they who said "You're the man.

You're the one we want to deal with immigration, and water rates, and taxes, and all that kinda shit. This must've been someone who came to work covered in children's blood every morning. How small does your cock have to be, to make you walk into a car showroom and say: Smashed out of their minds they could not spell their own face. And they go home with that person! And you might spend months with that person, or a year, or you might have a family! This is what happens, this is how you meet. It's got to be crispy in just the right way, hasn't it? You hear people in restaurants competing with each other "I love you". I love pencils that you have sucked and thrown away ten years ago.

Just eat your food and let me love you, don't speak! My vadudium is pointing at your phenungulator, the race must continue! Then the old fashioned bar of ice cream would come down, the one that had to be cut with a breadknife before the two sides were flanked with wafers. You would lift your little spoon up excitedly and winkle out that first divet of black jelly The cage with the Japanese fighting spiders inside, your mother strikes a match off her forearm and tells you to dance in the front room for money You, you never forget that shit, I mean it never goes away.

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. On how to hurt the ones you really love. The meaning of the word "gay" has changed. It used to mean all colourful and happy and homosexual, but now it's a word children use to describe something that's a little bit meh. Oh, that's so gay. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark I'm locking the door now. Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two. Children are actually very sophisticated. They sleep in your bed for a reason. The child is born, it takes a look around, and thinks "Well this isn't quite what I'd hoped for.

All these people are idiots I wouldn't've have painted the house like this at all But I've got to make the best of it. I've got to maximize my resources. So the key thing is to stop these people from having any more children. Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time. Adults are terribly confused, messed up people. Yeah, I know it was really bad. Yeah, very painful, the shoulder is a very painful area. Children aren't like that, which is why they look so young, 'cause they always have a sense of style and purpose.

When they're walking around, they have a very definite purpose, they're walking. And it's a great walk as well, it's not an adult's sort of bemused shuffle, it's that 'I'm going over here. Why am I here? On young male single friends attending baby shower. As though it's a big deal. All that women want is what anybody wants. You know, friendship and companionship and respect and a certain amount of leadership with submission and a kind of cooperation at all times and pre-emptive empathy and you know, general telepathy.

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It's no big deal, is it? So it's not difficult to know what women want. Fascists - that's really what they're all after! Cool, calm, and unemotional. It's a fantastic religion, it makes absolutely no demands upon you at all, which is why it's not a great religion. All great religions are built on shame. You don't have any of that if you're Protestant. You go to the church, sing a few hymns, have a cup Sluts in wind hill tea, everybody goes home and has a wank. I am actually walking towards the biscuit, I didn't realise I was, but now I do, oh oh oh I am actually eating the biscuit And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend Black ebony big ass porn be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.

If you are going to have an afterlife, why not just have a physical afterlife? Just come back as a tentacle with a set of lips looking for huge lumps of chocolate to fuck, it'd be much more reasonable. I'm quite a compulsive person—I only worked this out recently—I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now. We want women to look like cakes! What is that supposed to be? It's never really casual, you always have to turn up. It's never casual unless you're both wearing Sherlock Holmes hats or something.

You're covered in crisps, one of you's eating an omelette, the other one's doing a crossword, then it's kind of casual. On the myth of "casual sex". I would stab you to death On relationships with fat people. But do you think maybe this might have something to do with your per-ARGH! That first high kick to the thorax generally does the trick. Talking with women about their periods. English people, don't go up there, it's nearly half the country, and you say "Why don't you go? It's a very simple experiment to conduct, all you've got to do is be with a man, wait until he starts doing something and then go up and talk to him.

What is it now?! I'm opening fish fingers can't you see?! You come in here, walking on the floor - breathing the air like it's yours - talking and talking and I'm doing something! Look they've fallen on the floor, are you happy?! Are you happy now?! Every time I try anjd do something for myself, you carbonize and then shit on my dreams You're just like your whhhvjnvnbbbnjhhuh. Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope?! A man does not know how he came by the half a pie he is holding in his hand. And scientists—those frauds—seize on this, and try to use it as proof of the mysteries of human consciousness and the unknowable nature of the brain, which is rubbish!

The brain is the simplest organ in the body. It only has three bits. The middle bit, which tries to come up with the excuse. And the back bit, which plays the last song that was on in the pub. The blame always lies with the perpetrator, not the victim. No matter what a person wears or how they behave, they are never 'asking for it'. Nobody wants to be raped, even people that walk around naked on the streets. That is not an invitation for a sexual assault. So the SlutWalk was born, where people of all genders and all ages come together to show support to victims and fight to bring the blame back to the rapists and not the victims.

I might add that this is a very family friendly event, with a lot of kids taking part and plenty of strollers being pushed. Obviously you're free to wear what you want during the SlutWalk and before and after it as well and just remember to show other people respect. Personally, I'd want the organisers of SlutWalk to invite the incredible one woman show by Adrienne Truscott 'Asking for it' where she jokes about rape and rape culture in a very meaningful but hilarious way. Seriously, if you have the means to see this performance somewhere I saw it at the Edinburgh Fringe a few years back and still think about it - then do so!

Americans "vote their pocketbooks. Can't you just hear James Carville whispering those four magic words into Bill Clinton's ear over and over and over again in It completely disregards social issues, moral questions and fashion statements like sweater vests. And it appears that this is indeed the metric to watch. However, in spite of this obvious truth, GOP presidential candidates and the news media that reports and analyzes their every breath seem obsessed with everything but the economy. It was not very long ago that Rush Limbaugh, the High Priest of American conservatism, labeled a Georgetown law student "a slut" after she testified on Capitol Hill about birth control.

For more than a week following Limbaugh's First Amendment moment, my completely unofficial and unscientific observation is that way too much of the national dialogue was directed at that reprehensible comment, to the exclusion of things like the potential of war with Iran, or the teetering economy in places like Greece. I believe that Limbaugh deserved what he got -- but at what cost? I simply can't figure out why Republicans, who are trying to win an election, keep harping about things that are likely only to hurt them, instead of focusing on the issue that always matters most. Maybe it's a function of the fact that we are only exposed to Republicans these days because they are trying to pick a nominee, but it sure seems like these guys keep throwing their aspirations into the briar patch when they could be making hay on the economy.

As reported on this site on March 15, Rick Santorum's campaign boss John Brabender yet again reiterated a little redundant maybe?

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