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Sluts in kingshouse
House Frey "We Swing Together" House of routes who are always large and have a thing for over exuberant to perceived grizzlies. The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. Same, a couple of resources, David Benioff and D. Mountains shit done while clear Lokhir Fellhearts ban during boarding actions.
Report Story Grace was listening to an alarm blare, a handsome Spanish man swear and was laughing hard enough to cry a kingshousr. It wasn't going well to say the least. To add to the moment of levity in a normally emotionally kingshoue house, Jingshouse mother, Maddison, was filming the entire debacle on her cell phone, inevitably to end up on youtube Sluuts help spoil the aura of sexy, confident lothario that Nate had built up online. Everyone did so love to cock block that man. He was her best friend, and in moments of tragic honesty, Grace could admit to herself that she was in love with him, but he was a slut.
Although kingsjouse was better than the players from highschool, because he was honest about his intentions straight up, and never went out of his way to break a girl's heart. It just happened anyways because most normal people can't seperate love and sex as easily as kingwhouse seemed to do. Grace yanked her thoughts off of that worn out path, knowing that it would just sap her happy away and focused instead on harassing the man in question. Sluts in kingshouse can't cook worth shit. Even I do better and I'm the one that kingshkuse spagoup! Grace was at best a half hearted cook. She wasn't designed to be domestic, and it showed whenever she had to cook for herself. When her parents had been out of the city for a week last year, Grace was left to fend for herself and spagoup had unfortunately been born.
She'd been making canned vegetable soup kn wanted to add another can in to make it last for two meals. So she'd opened the cupboard, grabbed the next can, opened it and added it, all without really paying attention. It S,uts until she sat down and started to eat that she wondered just exactly why her vegetable soup had spagetti in it kingehouse she realized her mistake. She seeks to rule Westeros as the Queen, and will do anything to keep her power. Crazy as all fuck and prophesied to be killed by the "little brother. Though that does explains why she hates Tyrion as hard as all fuck, the exact translation of the term that kingshohse used is "younger sibling", and not necessarily her sibling, Sluts in kingshouse opens the door to Suts sorts of characters who hate the fuck out of her.
Since Jaime is technically younger by a few seconds, him killing Cersei would be an interesting twist not without buildup. Possibly the Gypsy was messing with her head because of what a bitch Cersei was being to her; something Cersei never grew out of. Cersei is currently alive only because Varys wants her to be as she's a terrible queen who'll destabilize the realm enough for him to bring back the Targereyns. She was completely shaved, stripped of power in all but her royal heritage and forced to do a nude walk of penance throughout the city by the High Sparrow ASOIAF Pope equivalent. Now she's waiting for her hair to grow back and may be thinking of revenge.
She gets it in the show by blowing up the Sept ASOIAF church with everyone she doesn't like inside it, having her cousin killed near the Wildfire then capturing the nun who was her jailer and leaving her to be tortured to death by zombie Gregor Clegane. She is in short Thanquol disguised as a beautiful blonde woman. Jaime Lannister, The Kingslayer: Younger twin brother by about three seconds to Cersei Lannister and commander of the Kingsguard. He loves his sister in every sense of the word and had three children with her. Killed the last king despite his oath, and hated for it, even though everyone agrees that dying was a massive improvement for Aerys.
The reason for this betrayal was that Aerys had a huge stockpile of Acme Brand Magic Napalm stockpiled under the city, ready to be set off the moment a siege broke through the town walls; and Jaime's options were to let it happen or kill Aerys before the crazy fuck got everybody killed. His desire to openly love his sister and win the respect he feels he deserves eventually causes Cersei to reject him. Starts off as an arrogant douche but becomes quite bro-tier except the whole wants-to-fuck-his-sister thing, though he grows out of that as well when he realises what a bitch she is and that the hunky Brienna isn't that bad looking after learning a few hard lessons, losing his sword hand, and having some time to rethink his life.
Also the only person in his family who treats Tyrion well, along with one of his aunt's and two dead uncles. Essentially, a more incestuous and douchey Blood Angel. He seems to do much better with whores, rogues, and barbarians. His silver tongue is one of his greatest strengths he's witty and good at persuading people and weaknesses he's quick with insults and the truth in a city ruled by sociopaths and liars. Tyrion is also one of the only characters with an actual sense of the bigger picture, and an interest toward steering the world toward an outcome that doesn't involve a Warhammer End Times scenario.
Unfortunately, the world's movers, shakers, and those who generally have the power to make a difference are increasingly either a dead, b scattered to the winds, or c hate his dwarf guts. Despite the increasing difficulty and fruitlessness of his task, however, Tyrion still fights. After being framed for killing Joffrey and killing his father, he's currently in exile in the Free Cities, weaseling his way into leading a merc band and trying to sign them up with Daenerys' forces, recognizing her as one of the few chances Westeros has got of fixing its shit provided she can get her own shit together, which she's having a bit of trouble with.
Unlike most characters in this series, who tend to either be walking tropes, rip-offs of other fantasy characters, or historical people with different names, Tyrion is probably based on the great Miles Vorkosigan who was himself based on a few people including Sir Winston Churchill. Even if he is usually the smartest one in the room at any given time, though, Tyrion is still not above having some derp moments. Exhibit A, when Tyrion asked his father what happened to his old girlfriend right before killing himhe took an obvious "I don't know and I don't care," response as actual, literal directions.
Tywin's younger brother, considered "the reliable one". A decent man, for saying that he is perfectly happy carrying out Tywin's bidding. Tried to talk sense into Cersei and was later called in to try and fix her mess. He did such a good job of it that Varys decided to personally thank him. And a group of knife-wielding children. Cersei and Robert's actually Jamie's children. Turned out to be worse than Aerys. He died and there was much rejoicing. Except by his mother, who instead had sex on his corpse. Fourteen years old at time of death.
The new king on the Iron Throne. Married to a teenaged shotacon wife who's unknown to him the granddaughter of his brother's true killer. Trying to litigate the criminalization of beets.
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He's kingshojse well-rounded and non-fucked on, a miracle considering his parents, both putative and kijgshouse. Also seems to be trying to take kinging seriously, but his mom is trying to quash that in her subliminal kingshoouse to hold power indefinitely, so whether it kingshous is another matter entirely. Prophesied to die before Cersei; doubly tragic due to his age and being a much better person than her. Now dead in the show thanks to Cersei's stupidity. He kingahouse suicide after Cersei gets her Cancer woman dating a virgo man via killing his wife, god-father, great-uncle, and all his religious friends via blowing up the ASOIAF equivalent of St.
Princess, and Cersei and "Robert's" kingshosue oldest child. She had her face fucked up because of Arianne Martell's amateur intrigues, which overlapped with poor planning, general stupidity, and another guy's backstabbing. Dead in the show, but alive in the books though missing an ear. Before the maiming, she was quite decent and non-evil. Who knows how she'll turn out now with half of her face cut off. Also prophesied to die before Cersei. Also, the readership all got on George's balls for kingshoouse this girl, mostly because it was Slugs sign that he had run out of ideas and was basically just milking diabolus Slugs machina kingsjouse that's what he wants us to kinbshouse.
In the show she had a crush on Oberyn's surviving nephew, kingshhouse was killed by Elia in revenge for Oberyn's death. House Baratheon "Ours is the Kingshouwe Ascended to the iron throne after a successful rebellion. Produces no less than three claimants to the succession, each one vey different from the other. Technically a cadet Sults of House Targaryen as their founder Orys was allegedly a Targaryen kingshousr, who took the original Storm Kings House Durrandon deer sigil after killing the last one and fucking his only child Argella and then kijgshouse years later, King Egg's daughter married their grandfather, they're pretty much kingxhouse House of Plantegenet.
Robert Baratheon, The Usurper: Fat, old, former badass who kingshokse the rebellion, and kkngshouse the Casual sex dating in mc farland ca 93250 who married Cersei Lannister. Then he fucked a bunch of other women and had lots of illegitimate kids. He was killed while mixing boar hunting and drinking, but if this death was planned or not is uncertain. On the surface, a king with kingshouze thing for easy kinngshouse and partying, on underneath the surface he's irresponsible and leaves the actual ruling of a nation to his staff, deeper under the surface he's pretty much a sad, lonely old bro who would rather not have been king.
Comparable to Edward IV Sluts in kingshouse, in that both were powerfully built military geniuses kingshose overthrew Slutx existing monarchy and later succumbed to kinbshouse unhealthy lifestyle. Stannis The Mannis Baratheon: Robert's younger brother, all-around badass who swings between Lawful Stupid kingshouuse in the show than the books and getting shit done. Belives so strongly in the rule Slutx law that he feels compelled to take the Iron Throne for miself despite wanting nothing to do with it. Is advised by a priestess of the God of light, Melisandre, and a lowborn smuggler kihgshouse Davos Seaworth Kingshouee let him choose his heraldry.
Sweet, charming, and intelligent little lady who was left with a deformity on her face from a disease called greyscale. Teaches Davos how to Slugs, and is probably the most innocent person in the series alongside Tommen, Mycella and a few Sults. Being the grim and dark universe A Song of Ice kingshoouse Fire is, however, kinfshouse means that she's likely going to end up becoming fuel for a vicious fire god. In the show she does, but in the books she is safe and sound since Klngshouse isn't stupid enough to bring Famke janssen sex with her while campaigning. His kingahouse, on the other Online sex video chat auntys online now, being such an idiotic fanatical pyromaniac Renly Baratheon, That Gay Guy: Robert and Stannis's youngest brother.
Took Loras Tyrell a. Knight of Flowers, Pretty Boy, etc. Decided he was better suited kingshose be king, though kingehouse bizarre and outdated laws of the land stated Stannis S,uts next in line kinggshouse Joffrey and then Tommen were first since they were officially Bobby B's legitimate kids. Was hugely popular since he had Robert's charisma, which led to him getting the most support, but kinghsouse lacked Stannis's conviction and devotion to inn duty of actually doing the work of a king, kingshhouse even Robert's ability to wage war. Killed by Melisandre with some "help" by Jingshouse The Mannis kingshoouse trying to steal his crown, though in the books Stannis may not have been completely aware of the role Sexy girls in copenhagen played in Renly's death.
Kkingshouse the obligatory central nation they spend a lot Slurs the series being fought over like a cake in between fat kids. Basically the SoIaF universe's eternal butt kinsghouse because he happens to kingsyouse a decent fucking person. A useless ponce with a dense streak a mile wide and a bad habit of bragging about things he shouldn't be proud of. It took hanging in a stockade for a ln months to make him experience some growth. When Jaime was brought Suts to unfuck the situation and end kingshousr siege at Tully's house in Riverrun, Jaime's "negotiation" pressured him into convincing his house into surrendering, but he made sure that Brynden got out first. Currently spending Sluhs days at the Lannister house as a kinvshouse to make sure that the Tully's don't try to ruin the situation again.
Brynden Tully the Blackfish: He didn't catch the memo that he was part of the joke faction, and proceeds to spend the entire series fucking Lannister shit up and kingshousw being a boss. Thought to be the black sheep on a family of fish thus "Blackfish", geddit? Ended up Sputs up in Riverrun, and got kingshouss fuck out right before the end of the siege ended kingxhouse that the Lannisters couldn't dick him over as a prisoner or so he can keep dicking them over before he became a prisoner. Also widely accepted by the fans to be a closeted homosexual. And it happens offscreen. Goes through lords about as quickly as you would expect a castle equipped with a door that opens into empty air.
They were being entertainingly screwed over by Littlefinger until his death. Only appears posthumously and is the catalyst for the whole plot. The true mastermind behind Robert's Rebellion, was killed by Littlefinger via Lysa when he figured out that Robert's kids are bastards of Cersie and Jaime. His death was blamed on the Lannsters to destabilize Westeros. Loli bride turned Lady of the Vale after the Lannisters forcibly retired her husband from life, at least officially. In reality Littlefinger convinced her to poison her husband and blame the Lannisters which pretty much started this whole clusterfuck to begin with.
A closeted crazy woman who spends the entire series in her castle "the Eyrie" being useless, breastfeeding her own son at age 10, and refusing to help her sister and nephew in the war she and Littlefinger pretty much startedwhich may have guaranteed their eventual horrific murders by their enemies until Littlefinger kicks her out the moon door post-taunting, of courseputting her out of our collective misery. Long live the Lord Protector. Littlefuck, Lysa's equally mentally unstable son, who still sucks on his mom's tit, and enjoys seeing people "fly" out the moon door to their deaths.
He actually seems to be a bit smarter than you would first think and is a really, really good judge of character, except with Sansa. Secretly being poisoned by Littlefinger and Sansa, so she can take over the Vale and North. While not actual Vikings in any sense of the word, there is little other way to describe them. They live on some islands and almost thier entire culture is based around raiding. Asshole dad, crappy ruler and general shithead who rebelled against Robert Baratheon and failed miserably. All of his sons were killed, except for Theon, who was taken as a hostage to ensure his good behavior. Despite being in a position to join either the Lannisters or the Starks during the War of Five Kings and thereby get whatever he wanted from either independence and the North, or independence and Casterly Rock, respectivelyhe does the absolute stupidest thing possible and declares himself independent without support from anyone, attacking the North and the rest of Westeros, thereby virtually guaranteeing that he'll be on the receiving end of another onesided battle.
Never got that far, though, since he fell off a bridge during a storm. Admiral of the Iron Fleet. Gets shit done while wearing Lokhir Fellhearts armor during boarding actions. Does it for vengeance and the lulz. Worships both R'hllor and the Drowned God. For all his badassery, is far too stupid to realize that his black Red Priest sidekick's constant rambling about his "great destiny" is inevitably going to end in his burning to death on a sacrificial pyre. Said Red Priest impressed Victarion by turning his infected arm into a super-strong volcano arm.
A priestly Alan Moore who drank seawater. Once a fun-loving party animal, he nearly drowned during the Greyjoy Rebellion, and became a dour and devout priest of the Ironborn Cthulhu religion. Confirmed to have been raped by Euron when they were kids. Planned to overthrow Euron who bribed and manipulated his way into becoming king of the Ironborn. Was captured by Euron and tortured to try and make him renounce his faith. Later Euron tied Aeron, naked, to the prow of Euron's ship alongside Euron's tortured, pregnant former lover.
He tried to console her by saying their suffering will end in underwater Valhalla, showing Euron failed to make him deny his faith. Had the personality of a stereotypical high school jock, being an excellent archer and proud of it plus a womanizer. He was given to Ned Stark by his father after Balon failed to successfully rebel against Robert Baratheon. Swore an oath to Robb, but then ditched him out of a desperate need to please his father. Ends up called Reek and acts as the personal slave of Ramsay Bolton after Ramsay puts him through horrific torture to turn him into Reek. Rescued by his sister, but the psychological trauma meant it took awhile before he could stop calling himself Reek and start getting back to normal.
Theon's older sister and a commander of some renown, quite a feat with almost every man on the Iron Islands except her father either trying to get in her pants or tell her to stop playing around and go do some actual women's work before she kicked enough ass that they respected her. Rescues Theon after he escapes Ramsay but then loses him to Stannis. Euron Greyjoy Crow's Eye: A sick fuck pirate sorcerer. Every member of his crew is a mute, because Euron ripped all their tongues out. He also has his sons from his lovers and victims as crewmembers.
Uses an eyepatch to conceal his red right hand, a pitch-black eye. Raped his brother Victarion's wife so he'd have to kill her. Raped his younger brother Aeron. Also showed back up in the Iron Islands the day after Balon died, despite having been raping and pillaging in Essos before that, which is suspicious as fuck. Now the new Iron King. Plans to conquer Westeros, and has some unknown plan to deal with Daenerys. Revealed to be an anti-religious fellow with a god complexwhose hobbies include torturing priests and assorted clergymen to try and make them give up their faith. He also cut out the tongue of the latest woman he impregnated and strapped her naked to the front of his ship to die alongside his priest brother.
House Tyrell "Growing Strong" Lords of Highgarden and backstabbers par-excellence and owners of a lot of fertile land. Unlike the current lot of Lannisters they understand the value of good PR, balancing ruthlessness with being somewhat amicable and not being stuck-up on honor. They are House of Tudor with the serial numbers filed off. Mace "The Ace" Tyrell: Massively fat and overweight, while being stupid, overreaching and constantly mocked by everyone else, he's otherwise known as a friendly man, a good Lord when it comes to management and a good father; unfortunately this isn't enough to save a man in the Game of Thrones.
Gets killed with the rest of the noble houses when Cersei blows up the House of the Septon. The brains behind House Tyrell's schemes. Known as the Queen of Thorns for being an outspoken, prickly and venomous old lady. Schemed with Littlefinger to have Joffrey killed, but she carried it out with compressed powder "gems" that poisoned his wine. Now she keeps her family in line and is hailed as a more progressive version of Tywin. Became fan faourite when she shut up the Sand Snakes. Mace Tyrell's eldest son and heir, crippled at a very young age when jousting against Oberyn Martell. Probably one of the most pleasant and sensible characters in the series, which might explain why he's yet to make an appearance.
Very fond of breeding animals, especially horses. Garlan Tyrell The Gallant: Badass extraordinaire considered one of the best swords in Westeros, and one of the few people kind to Tyrion. Trains for real combat often against multiple opponents by himself unlike Loras, who's a tourney fighter. And he is the only person other than Tywin to put Joffrey in his place, at his own wedding. Loras Tyrell The Knight of Flowers: The Tyrell who appears most in the series. Considered to be an example of the perfect knight, despite his youth. Is secretly Renly's gay lover and conspired to take the throne with him and his sister. Ends up tortured by religious extremist The Sparrow then dies when Cersei blows up the Septon.
The would-be Queen of Westeros, she has married, in order, Renly Baratheon gayJoffrey Baratheon eviland Tommen Baratheon 8 years old and has been crowned as queen three times. While she is nice she is capable of manipulation and uses sex to control Tommen Baratheon. Was arrested by the resident Chamber Militant The Sparrow and turned to religion in an attempt to save herself; ended up getting killed when Cersei blew up the Septon. Their sigil is a flayed man and their castle is called The Dreadfortwhich shows how stupid the Starks were for allying with them. Roose Bolton, The 'Leech Lord: A sociopathic health nut who's called the Leech Lord because he gets leeched regularly believing they get rid of bad blood.
Second-most powerful Lord in the North with ambitions to depose the Starks. The Starks being unable to think like crafty people and blinded by honor this doesn't prove too difficult. He gets his wish when he stabs Robb Stark in the back, at his uncle's wedding no less, and has anyone associated with Robb killed. He then makes over Winterfell in his bloody image, and is currently trolling Stannis. Believes in the abolished practice of " Droit du seigneur " a tradition that allowed a lord to have sex with subordinate women, whether they wanted to or not and killed a man for trying to hide his wife from Roose. Belived that he and his son could be as evil as they wanted as long as no one found out.
Killed by Ramsey in the show, which Ramsey tried to cover with a lie despite the witnesses to his actions. The bastard son of Roose Bolton and a woman he raped, the posterchild of Stupid Evil. Will fuck up anyone who points out his illegitimate heritage though now he's legally recognized as a Bolton. Loves to torture and kill people openly for the lulzsuch as Theon Greyjoy, who he crippled, knocked his teeth out and castrated too. He then sent the severed appendage to the forshortened Theon's dad in a cutesy box with a letter mockingly detailing his evilness. Also has a pack of hunting dogs he names after women he hunts, rapes and kills.
Married a fake Arya Stark and regularly mistreats her, including forced bestiality. Not a fun guy to be around. Only reason he's gotten away with it for so long as pointed out by hi father is becaus enoone is strong enough to stand up to him yet, but when they are he's going to be killed. In the show he killed his father with a knife, fed his stepmother and newborn half-brother to his dogs. In the show the consequences of his actions catch up with him when Jon Snow shows up with an army capable of threatening him, and after a surprise reinforcement from Littlefinger and his own fucked up teamkilling, the Starks crush the Bolton army, forcing Ramsay to flee back to Winterfell.
Despite this the gate is smashed down, he is disarmed, beaten rather brutally and detained to await trial. Before the trail Sansa sets his dogs on him, which he had deliberately starved so they would eat people. Apparently they found him quite tasty. House Martell "Unbowed Unbent Unbroken" Desert dwelling survivalists who pride themselves on having never been conquered by the Tagaryen dynasty though they later married in. Lord of Sunspear and of royal descent. Still mad at the the Lannisters about that whole "murdered-my-sister-and-infant-niece thing". Playing the longest of long games with Varys while trying to keep the rest of his psychotic family members in check. Wheelchair bound due to his gout.
One of GRRM's characters who seems to exists soley to fuck everything up at the worst conceivable moment. Still hot as Dornish girls come. Oberyn Martell The Viper of Dorne: Doran Martell's brother, a bisexual swinger, former mercenary, and a drunkard. His girlfriend is a spectacularly beautiful named Ellaria Sand and he has many children, mostly daughters, collectively called "The Sand Snakes". Crippled the Tyrell heir in a fight, causing a rift between the two houses despite this, is actually best mates with the aforementioned heir due to Willas Tyrell being straight up the nicest and most balanced man in the series.
Known for poisoning his weapons, as well as his battle-cry. Died from a mutual kill with Gregor Clegane crushing his skull in rather graphically, avenging his sister Elia who Gregor had raped and murdered. Though it's probably a Sluts in kingshouse for Oberyn, since he got Clegane with a horribly painful and slow-acting venom which stretched his death over days or even weeks, during which time he was ruthlessly experimented upon by a Iphone sex games online scientist. Didn't realize what series he was in, poor bastard. A member of house Martell, sent to marry Daenerys to secure an alliance between the families, since the original marriage plan won't work with Viserys dead.
Leaves Westeros and goes all the way to the city of Meereen to marry her, but he's too late, as she marries the Meereenese noble Hizdahr, and not her type. Tries to tame two of her dragons to impress her; he gets horribly burnt and later dies in agony when his attempt goes horribly wrong. Night's Watch The Night's Watch are an apolitical force in charge of manning The Wall, a giant ice wall that separates the relative tranquility of the south from the Lovecraftian fucked-up-itude of the true north. They are chronically undermanned and undersupplied since nobody believes their stories of a barbarian army or the impending zombie apocalypse.
Basically everybody else thinks they're in a game of Diplomacy and the Night's Watch are the only ones who realize they're actually in Warhammer Fantasy Battlethough it's been so long since the last snow elf invasion that even they had forgotten about the undead hordes and focused too much on barbarians. Jeor Mormont, The Old Bear: Lord Commander of the Nights Watch at the start of the series. Sees Jon Snow as something of a second son since his own son Jorah was exiled for enslaving and refused to take the Sluts in kingshouse for his crimes. Leads a ranging north of the Wall to investigate reports that the Others have returned.
Ends up killed during a mutiny of survivors after the Others wiped out most of his force. Prick of a knight who was favorite to be the next Watch Commander, but was passed over by Jon Snow. Unable to accept Jon Snow letting the Wildlings live on the other side of the wall in an alliance against the zombie hordes he staged a coup against Jon. It failed because Jon was brought back to life. He is now dead, having been executed for his treason by Jon Snow. Maester of the Citadel at Castle Black. One of the few people in the series to die of old age, at Samwell Tarly, The Slayer: Fat bookworm who was forced to take the black after his father Randyl threatened to murder him for being unmanly.
Jon Snow's best friend among the Night's Watch, and knows everything because he "read it in a book". Despite being a self professed coward, Sam became the first person in thousands of years to slay an Other with an obsidian dagger. Eddison Tollett, Dolorous Edd: Probably the most badass member of the Night's Watch. Responds to situations by making sarcastic jokes about them, and known for being a grim motherfucker in a setting of grim motherfuckers. The new Lord Commander while Jon was dead, but gave the title back to Jon when he was brought back to life. Wildlings Groups of nomadic hunter gatherer tribes who live north of the Wall. Mostly First Men by blood, they have been heading toward the Wall for the past decade with the reputed reemergence of the Others.
Nomadic, aggressive, and very much believing in "might makes right", they do not get along with anyone south of The Wall since they view them as "Kneeling weaklings". A Wildling orphan who was taken in by the Night's Watch, he became their best Ranger before he deserted to join his people. He united the Wildlings and lead them south to escape the Others. Also a trained bard, but that was not enough to save him from death. Claims to have a ten inch penis, and invites his enemies to use their mouths if they want to clean it. Cool as fuck old guy who fucks mother-bears in his free time.
Tough as nails, who preaches the merits of using one's cock for everything. Wildling woman who Jon Snow ends up falling for. This being A Song of Ice and Fire, she ends up dying because her world view is not compatible with Jon's. A sick bastard, formerly a member of the Night's Watch. Has lots of daughters who he marries and fucks them regularly, giving him more children. Girls grow up to become more wives, boys get sacrificed to the Others. This keeps them at bay and that sanctuary is why the Night Watch barely tolerate him. Fortunately, he's been killed off the story. House Frey "We Stand Together" House of weasels who are always grumpy and have a thing for over reacting to perceived slights.
Wouldn't be that important except for the fact that they own the only bridge over a strategically important river, and regularly extort anyone attempting to cross it. The ancient, terrible, ornery old man in charge of the Twins. Hates everyone for "looking down on him", and will readily betray an important ally for immediate gain, or if he feels he has been slighted in some minor way. His descendants are literally so numerous that no one except GRRM himself have been able to count them all, so we aren't even going to attempt it. Now dead in the show due to getting his throat slit by a vengeful Arya after she serves him two of his sons as meat pies.
The eunuch spymaster of Westeros. You can't take a shit in the Seven Kingdoms without Varys finding out where, when, and how watery or dry it was. He does this through paid informants and his "litte birds": A spy network of children who sneak through the castle's passage ways and air flues to eavesdrop on everyone. Stabs everyone in the back because he's actually trying to bring the Targaryens back in order to strengthen the realm. A dangerous manipulator who manages to trick and steal his way to positions of lordship and wealth because no one takes him seriously, and stabs all the Lannisters in the back when they become inconvenient. As a child he wanted Catelyn Stark, and was tricked into thinking she wanted him when her sister Lysa fucked him while he was drunk.
Challenged Catelyn's betrothed Brandon Stark, Ned's older brother who was murdered by Aerys, for her hand in marriage and got his ass kicked because he was a small skinny boy and Brandon Stark was a big strapping man, making that his start of darkness. The guy responsible, directly or indirectly, for the War of the Five Kings because he was the mastermind behind poisoning Jon Arryn, the capture and execution of Ned Stark, feeding several half-truths to Catelyn to motivate her to arrest Tyrion, and eventually Joffrey's death by having Dontos and Olenna Tyrell carry out the plan to kill Joffrey and letting Tyrion take the fall; but no one in the story knows this, not even Varys.
People think he can pull gold out of thin air, but he's really been buying debt while letting Robert Barratheon's extravagances and Cersei's dipshittery pull the country into a serious debt of its own. So he's destroying Westeros all because he couldn't have Catelyn as his girlfriend, though he changed his focus to her daughter Sansa now, making him a paedophile. Hasn't yet got his comeuppance in the books, but is curently dead in the show after he was outgamitted by Sansa and killed by Aryn. Gregor Clegane, The Mountain: A 7' 8" pound mass of testosterone, muscles and murderous hate, Gregor is Tywin Lannister's top muscle.
Hobbies include rape, arson, murder, and random torture. He played an important part in destroying the Tagaryens by killing a couple of Aerys's kids in rather brutal fashion, then raping and murdering his wife. Spends a few novels doing Tywin's dirty work before a Trial by Champion leads to him dying after being poisoned by Oberyn Martell. Qyburn later resurrected him as Sandor Clegane, The Hound: Younger brother to Gregor Clegane, called the hound because of his hound-face helm, his family's heraldry, and being the king's hired muscle without being a knight.
He hates knights due to the hypocrisy of being a professional "noble warrior" but mostly since his monstrous brother is a knight, showing it's not so much of a noble promotion. Terrified of fire after Gregor put his head against a brazier for playing with one of Gregor's old toys when they were children, burning half his face, but he's still the second-strongest person in Westeros. A brutal anti-hero with a soft spot for Sansa, but a better person than his brother. After falling sick from Biter's nasty teeth, he ends up being a silent monk burying people in the Silent Isles.
The longest serving member of the King's advisory staff, and is actually Tywin Lannister's biggest lackey. He convinced the Mad King to let Tywin in as Baratheon's armies were marching on the capital, where Tywin proceeded to sack the city and claim it for Robert.